Tag Archives: middle school

Dear Candice

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education, photography

Dear Candice,

As you sit down to eat lunch by yourself again today, I want you to know that you’re not actually alone.

When I was in 7th grade, I felt like an outcast too. For the first several weeks of school, I sat at a lunch table surrounded only by the frizzy hair shielding my flushed, embarrassed cheeks. I wore off-brand jeans and dorky t-shirts, and I participated in all the “geeky” activities. Apparently no one wanted to sit with the shy, weird girl.

One day, I scoured my fourth period science class for a friendly face, and I finally asked a girl named Joanna if I could sit with her at lunch. Shockingly, she said yes, and I started eating at her table every day. By the end of the year, I was still wearing similar clothes and fixing my hair in the same way, but I was much more confident, and I had a few friends.

I want you to know that life gets better. There are peaks and valleys, and middle school is certainly a low point for most of us.

Over the next few years, you will learn that you don’t need to change yourself to make friends. You’ll grow into who you are, and you will find friends who are equally weird, wonderful, smart and fun.

You won’t eat lunch alone forever. In fact, you don’t have to sit by yourself again, if you don’t want to. Look up. Smile. Watch for a new friend in class.You might just surprise yourself with how many people would love to have you sit at their table tomorrow.

You are not as alone as you feel right now.

All my love,

-Ms. Jackson

Dear Anonymous

Posted on by under education, photography

education, photography

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for the food you leave on my desk every morning. Your quiet, unassuming generosity is so precious to me.

Are you sure you’re getting enough to eat for breakfast? I don’t want to take the cereal, yogurt or banana from your school breakfast if you aren’t eating at home!

And as much as I appreciate the food, I love the thought behind it even more. You brighten my mornings!

All my love,

-Ms. Jackson

Dear LaKeysha

Posted on by under education, photography

education, photography

Dear LaKeysha,

I get it; I really do. You have a dozen choices to make every morning before you walk into my classroom. You choose your shoes, belt, earrings, and whether to start the day with a smile or a grimace.

The most important decision you can make today and every day is the choice to be kind.

I know enough about what goes on at home to know that choosing kind is not always demonstrated for you. Choose it anyway. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if your earrings match your belt. What matters is how you treat people.

Popularity in middle school is a delicate pond on which you are skating. Being mean and pretty might scare people into thinking you’re popular for awhile, but I guarantee you that ice will melt soon enough. Try being the kind, pretty version of yourself.

Mean is a choice too. It’s not a default. Since the way you treat people is a decision, choose to be kind.

All my love,

-Ms. Jackson

Dear Ethan and Christian

Posted on by under education, photography

education, photography

Dear Ethan and Christian,

I have a new vocabulary word for you:

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

Today you two showed empathy when you noticed that I was stressed and frustrated at lunch. While nearly every other 6th grade student continued being rowdy and silly when I asked them to enter the cafeteria silently, you two thought about what it must feel like to be me, and you invited me to eat lunch at your table.

Ethan, I’ll never forget your quip:

“Well, about all we can do is pray!”

Amen to that.

And Christian, thank you for offering me a French fry while taking my mind off the craziness of the cafeteria by yammering about the latest movies you’ve seen.

You two are the coolest. Thanks for reminding me of what kindness looks like.

All my love,

-Ms. Jackson

Dear Agustin

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education, photography

Dear Agustin,

I wish you had told me sooner. I can only help you be successful to the extent that you are honest with me and you let me understand the complexities you are facing.

Pain cannot be silenced. He parades around in disguises when we try to hide him from others, but he will not go away until faced and dealt with.

Without knowing what was occurring in your life outside of school, here is how I described your first semester of 6th grade to your mom in our parent conference yesterday:

In August and September, Agustin was a solid B student. While not always intrinsically motivated, he responded well to reminders to complete his work and stay on task in class. He was pleasant, funny and had perfect attendance. Occasionally, he got a little too silly with his friends, but he would politely and respectfully bring it back when corrected.

 In October and November, Agustin’s grades slipped to low C’s, and he almost never turned in completed homework. He began to display an attitude of careless and reckless behavior. When corrected, he talked back, sulked or even walked out of class. He has not laughed or joked with his friends in his usual, carefree way. He skipped my class on three different occasions in the past month.

Agustin, I wish I could have had this conversation with your mom and your dad. But you and I both know that this is no longer possible. Your dad told me in August that he brought you to this country – facing incredible hardships along the way – so that you could have the best education possible.

Would he be proud of the way you are letting pain and sadness erode the gift he gave you?

Your mom told me that he has applied for a work visa. I am hopeful that you will see him again soon, and during the in-between time, I want to challenge you to make him proud with the decisions you are making. Act every day as if your dad is about to walk back in the door to be reunited with your family forever. Wouldn’t you want him to catch you on your best day with your best grades?

I can only imagine how traumatizing it was to see your dad taken from your dinner table. When those memories surface, I want to challenge you to stay. Don’t walk out of class. You can’t outrun the memory; it’s internal. You have to sit there and face Pain and show him you’re stronger. Channel that rage into becoming the smartest student and the fastest striker on the soccer team.

A student who has the courage to walk out of class has the strength he needs to stay and overcome.

All my love,

-Ms. Jackson

Dear Alberto

Posted on by under education, photography

education, photography

Dear Alberto,

You lost my trust today. From now on, you will stand at the front of the line and Julian will stand in the middle. Neither of you will be at the end of the line, and the two of you will not stand next to each other. Do I make myself clear?

You need to know what I heard and saw, so you can grasp how serious this is. I know that you have your side of the story as well, and I will hear it, but first you need to understand what I observed.

I gave clear directions for the class to line up silently by the door. The 33 students at the front of the line followed my directions, and we all transitioned into the hallway. As we stood outside of Mrs. Titus’ room, one of your classmates ran up to me, breathless.

“Ms. Jackson! Alberto and Julian snuck out of the line! They’re fighting in your classroom!”

As I ran into the room, I saw Julian slumped against the window, with his hands shielding his face. You raised your binder over your head and slammed it onto his hands and face as I yelled, “Stop!”

I had to literally stand in front of Julian to get you two to stop throwing punches. Alberto, you are twice as tall as Julian. You are much stronger, and you used your binder as a weapon.

I am responsible for the 35 young adults in your class, and you two decided to jeopardize your safety and the safety of every other student in my care by foolishly picking a fight in my classroom during the passing period.

It is clear that within the four walls of our school, you feel safe enough to pick a fight. You are bigger and stronger than most boys your age. You feel invincible.

What happens when you pick a fight at Deer Path Park? Or on Illinois Avenue when you’re walking home?

What happens when you look the wrong way at the wrong guys at a stoplight? Ask Keenan. That’s how his brother was shot and killed, less than a mile away at the Jack-in-the-Box on Kiest.

I’m sick of the needless violence. You have to learn now how to channel your emotions without swinging your fists.

You are going to serve your In-School Suspension with the 8th grade tomorrow. By the end of the day, I expect a written apology to Julian, and a written reflection to me, explaining what happened, why it was wrong and what you will do differently next time.

I care too much about you to let you go down this path.

All my love,

-Ms. Jackson