Something to say.
I would like to say thank you, Ms. Jackson. Thank you for not giving up on me. You always keep me on task. Ms., honestly you teach like you been doing it forever. You make learning reading fun. You are a fun teacher. I am happy to be taught by you and honor to be your first class. I remember one day, I didn’t want to do nothing. It wasn’t a good day for me. But when I got to your class all I wanted to do is learn.
Dear Keandra,
They are wrong.
Ugly is not your reflection in the mirror but a reflection of their character.
Ugly is on the inside, festering under their skin.
They are wrong, and they are bullying you.
“Horse Face,” Mark Milligan smirked as he slid into the seat next to me on the first day of seventh grade. “We’ll call the new girl Horse Face!”
Everyone got a good laugh except for the apparently long-nosed, big teethed girl sitting in my desk. His words, foolish and mean-spirited, drew enormous, hot tears from my equine eyes.
More than a decade has passed since that traumatic first day of seventh grade, and yet I’m still a little insecure about whether my face actually does favor, of all creatures, a horse.
Ugly, ugly, ugly. It’s time for a realignment of the way we talk about what counts as ugly. Faces and braces, frizzy hairs and gawking stares, vicious lies and teary eyes. We have to stop tearing each other down and confront our own insecurities deep within.
That’s why those girls are saying mean things about you. You know that, right? They’re insecure, so they say something ugly before someone else can call them the very words they’re using to put you down.
It will get better. I have already met with the girls and their parents. Insecure or not, there is no excuse for the way they are treating you, and it has been made clear exactly what their consequences will be if they continue to bully you.
They are wrong about you. You are full of beauty and strength. Keep your chin up. They don’t deserve to get you down.
All my love,
-Ms. Jackson
Dear Tyrek,
I saw a young man just a few years older than you on the news last night. According to the judge at his trial, this man made a series of devastating and cruel decisions. The jury has decided he should lose his life for the crimes he committed.
This young man awaiting his fate on death row has your same first and last name.
When the story started on the news, I heard your name and gasped. The thought that any of my students could be on the news in such a capacity horrified me.
I want to open up the newspaper and see your name on the A/B honor roll and a photo of you sinking the game-winning basket against Lariat Prep next week. Stay on the straight path, and make us proud. Unstructured time can open up tempting possibilities. Please be safe and smart during your last week of winter break.
All my love,
-Ms. Jackson
Dear Miguel,
I’ve watched you silently absorb into Shaun, Keenan and Davian’s group. You never seem to instigate trouble, but you are often caught with the consequences of following that crowd.
Please be careful over winter break.
Life is a series of choices, and if you continue to passively follow others down this often dangerous path, you could find yourself in serious trouble.
What strikes me as different about you is the way you respond to consequences. Today, when all four of you were placed in detention instead of the Christmas party, you were the only one who did not argue, complain or shut down. You accepted your situation, as if you knew that your actions earned the consequence for skipping math class on the last day of school before break. That tells me you do know the difference between right and wrong.
It’s time for you to step up. Stand your ground on issues you don’t want to be a part of. Be strong enough to walk away and refuse to be part of the crowd that makes dangerous decisions over the break.
All my love,
-Ms. Jackson
Dear Candice,
As you sit down to eat lunch by yourself again today, I want you to know that you’re not actually alone.
When I was in 7th grade, I felt like an outcast too. For the first several weeks of school, I sat at a lunch table surrounded only by the frizzy hair shielding my flushed, embarrassed cheeks. I wore off-brand jeans and dorky t-shirts, and I participated in all the “geeky” activities. Apparently no one wanted to sit with the shy, weird girl.
One day, I scoured my fourth period science class for a friendly face, and I finally asked a girl named Joanna if I could sit with her at lunch. Shockingly, she said yes, and I started eating at her table every day. By the end of the year, I was still wearing similar clothes and fixing my hair in the same way, but I was much more confident, and I had a few friends.
I want you to know that life gets better. There are peaks and valleys, and middle school is certainly a low point for most of us.
Over the next few years, you will learn that you don’t need to change yourself to make friends. You’ll grow into who you are, and you will find friends who are equally weird, wonderful, smart and fun.
You won’t eat lunch alone forever. In fact, you don’t have to sit by yourself again, if you don’t want to. Look up. Smile. Watch for a new friend in class.You might just surprise yourself with how many people would love to have you sit at their table tomorrow.
You are not as alone as you feel right now.
All my love,
-Ms. Jackson
Dear LaKeysha,
I get it; I really do. You have a dozen choices to make every morning before you walk into my classroom. You choose your shoes, belt, earrings, and whether to start the day with a smile or a grimace.
The most important decision you can make today and every day is the choice to be kind.
I know enough about what goes on at home to know that choosing kind is not always demonstrated for you. Choose it anyway. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if your earrings match your belt. What matters is how you treat people.
Popularity in middle school is a delicate pond on which you are skating. Being mean and pretty might scare people into thinking you’re popular for awhile, but I guarantee you that ice will melt soon enough. Try being the kind, pretty version of yourself.
Mean is a choice too. It’s not a default. Since the way you treat people is a decision, choose to be kind.
All my love,
-Ms. Jackson
Dear Ethan and Christian,
I have a new vocabulary word for you:
Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
Today you two showed empathy when you noticed that I was stressed and frustrated at lunch. While nearly every other 6th grade student continued being rowdy and silly when I asked them to enter the cafeteria silently, you two thought about what it must feel like to be me, and you invited me to eat lunch at your table.
Ethan, I’ll never forget your quip:
“Well, about all we can do is pray!”
Amen to that.
And Christian, thank you for offering me a French fry while taking my mind off the craziness of the cafeteria by yammering about the latest movies you’ve seen.
You two are the coolest. Thanks for reminding me of what kindness looks like.
All my love,
-Ms. Jackson
Rivers & Roads 